Why Your Doctor Might Be Wrong About Your Hormones

Have you ever walked out of a doctor’s office feeling small?

Maybe you felt ignored.

Maybe you felt crazy.

You know something is wrong.

You can feel it in your body.

But the person in the white coat shakes their head.

They say the same thing, over and over again:

“You are too young for this.”

“It’s just stress.”

“Come back when you are older.”

Does this sound familiar?

If you are nodding your head, you are not alone.

Thousands of women hear this every day.

They say things like:

• “Doctor didn’t listen based on age.”

• “My gyno is not listening to me at all.”

• “Every Doctor Dismissed Me.”

• “My pcp told me I’m too young for perimenopause and I’m 50.”

It is frustrating.

It is scary.

And often, it is wrong.

Today, we are going to talk about why this happens.

We are going to talk about Perimenopause.

And we are going to look at the facts.

So next time a doctor says “you’re too young,” you will have the answer.

What is Perimenopause?

Let’s start with the basics.

Most people know the word Menopause.

Menopause is when you stop having your period forever.

The average age for this is around 51 years old.

But you don’t just wake up one day and hit menopause.

There is a time before menopause.

This time is called Perimenopause.

Think of it like a transition.

Or a bridge.

Dr. Manna Semby tells us that this transition can start up to 10 years before menopause actually happens.

10 years!

Let’s do the math.

If the average age of menopause is 51…

And perimenopause starts 10 years before…

That means you can start feeling it at 41.

Or even in your late 30s.

Jessica Valant is a health expert.

She is 43 years old.

She is right in the middle of perimenopause.

She still has cycles.

She is not “old.”

But she is feeling the changes.

So, if you are 38, 40, or 45, and your doctor says you are “too young”…

They might be using the wrong definition.

They might be waiting for you to be 50.

But your body starts changing way before that.

The Roller Coaster

Why does perimenopause feel so bad?

It is all about hormones.

When we are young, our hormones are like a gentle wave.

They go up a little.

They go down a little.

It is organized.

But in perimenopause, the wave turns into a roller coaster.

Dr. Susan Hardwick-Smith calls it the “most difficult time” for hormones.

Here is what happens inside you:

1. Estrogen goes crazy. Sometimes your estrogen is super high. Higher than when you were young! This makes your breasts hurt. It makes you bloated. It makes you moody.

Then, it crashes down. Like a steep drop on a ride. This makes you have hot flashes and night sweats.

2. Progesterone disappears. Progesterone is a calming hormone. We only make it when we release an egg (ovulate). As we get older, we don’t release eggs as well. So, we have less of this calming hormone. This can make you feel anxious. It can make it hard to sleep.

Dr. Susan calls this “Estrogen Dominance”.

It means estrogen is the bully in the playground.

And progesterone isn’t there to stop it.

The Symptoms Doctors Ignore

Because your hormones are on a roller coaster, your body feels confused.

You might go to the doctor for one specific thing.

But perimenopause affects everything.

Here are the signs that doctors often miss:

The Weight That Won’t Go Away You are eating the same food. You are doing the same workouts. But your pants don’t fit. Jessica Valant noticed this with her clients. She calls it the “inability to lose weight”. It’s not because you are lazy. It is because your body is changing.

The Brain Fog You walk into a room and forget why. You feel like you can’t focus. Dr. Semby says brain energy can drop by 30% during this time. Your brain is actually remodeling itself. It is scary, but it is real.

The “Crazy” Moods One minute you are fine. The next minute you are crying. Or you are full of rage. Dr. Susan says she sometimes felt like a different person. She would say something mean and think, “Who said that?”. It wasn’t her. It was the hormones. But if you tell a doctor this, they might just say you are depressed. They might just give you a pill for your mood. They miss the root cause.

The Sleep Issues You are tired. So tired. But you can’t sleep. Dr. Semby notes that 50% of women have trouble sleeping now. And if you don’t sleep, everything else feels worse.

The Heavy Periods Remember the “Estrogen Dominance”? Too much estrogen makes the lining of your uterus grow thick. Then, when you have your period, it is very heavy. Dr. Susan describes it like a “murder scene” sometimes. It can be messy and embarrassing.

Why Do Doctors Say “You’re Too Young”?

This is the big question.

Why are so many women being dismissed?

Why do they refuse to test you?

There are a few reasons.

Reason 1: The One-Day Test Problem Imagine you are on a roller coaster. Sometimes you are up high. Sometimes you are down low.

If a doctor takes your blood on a “high” day, your levels look normal. They look at the paper and say, “See? You are fine.”. But they didn’t see the crash two days later.

Dr. Susan explains that because hormones swing so wildly, a single blood test can be tricky. If they catch you on a good day, they think you are healthy. But you know you are suffering.

Reason 2: The Training Gap Doctors are smart people. But they can only know what they are taught. Dr. Semby points out a sad fact. A whole generation of doctors was not taught how to care for women in perimenopause. There was a study in 2002 that scared everyone away from hormones. Because of that, schools stopped teaching it as much. So, your doctor might literally not know the signs.

Reason 3: Looking for “Menopause” Remember, menopause is when periods stop. If you are still bleeding, some doctors think you are “fine.” They are waiting for the periods to stop before they help you. But the suffering happens while you are still bleeding. You don’t have to wait until it’s over to get help.

How to Get Your Doctor to Listen (Or Find a New One)

So, you know you aren’t crazy.

You know you aren’t “too young.”

What do you do now?

1. Track Your Symptoms Don’t just say “I feel bad.” Write it down. “Tuesday: Hot flash, angry mood, bad sleep.” “Wednesday: Heavy bleeding, brain fog.” Show them the pattern. Show them it happens at certain times of the month.

2. Ask for the Right Tests (at the Right Time) If you want a blood test, timing matters. Dr. Susan suggests testing hormones on day 3-5 of your cycle (for a baseline). Or about 3 weeks after your period starts (to see progesterone). If your doctor just tests you on a random Tuesday, it might not show the whole picture.

Jessica Valant recommends seeing a specialist for a “Dutch Test”. This is a very detailed test. It gave her answers regular doctors missed.

3. Don’t Accept “Just Stress” If they offer you antidepressants, ask why. Ask if it could be hormonal. If they say no without checking, it might be time for a second opinion. Dr. Semby says we need to “normalize the conversation”. You have to advocate for yourself.

Things You Can Do Today to Feel Better

You don’t have to wait for a doctor to start feeling better.

The experts gave us some great tools.

Here is a checklist for your perimenopause journey.

Step 1: Fix Your Plate You need more protein. Jessica Valant says women in perimenopause need more protein than younger women. Aim for half a gram of protein for every pound you weigh. So if you weigh 140 pounds, try for 70 grams of protein. Add a protein shake. Put collagen in your coffee. Eat chicken or tofu. This helps your muscles and your energy.

Also, try to cut down on sugar and alcohol. I know, wine helps the stress. But it can make the hot flashes worse.

There is also a supplement called DIM. It is made from broccoli. Dr. Susan says it helps your body clear out extra estrogen. It can help with the breast pain and bloating.

Step 2: Change Your Workout You might think you need to run for hours to lose the weight. Actually, that might cause more stress. Stop doing high-intensity cardio every single day. Instead, lift weights. Lift heavy things twice a week. It builds muscle. It helps your bones. And it boosts your metabolism.

Step 3: Prioritize Sleep This is hard when you can’t sleep. But try everything. Jessica Valant swears by a weighted blanket. It helps calm the nervous system. Turn off your phone early. Make your room cool. Sleep is when your hormones try to reset.

Step 4: Consider Medical Help If natural stuff isn’t working, medicine can help. You don’t have to suffer.

• Birth Control Pills: For a short time, these can smooth out the roller coaster. They make your hormones steady every day.

• Progesterone: You can take bioidentical progesterone. It helps you sleep and calms the mood swings. It is very safe.

• IUD or Ablation: If the bleeding is super heavy, these can stop it. An ablation is a simple procedure that burns the lining of the uterus. Dr. Susan had it done and said it was amazing.

You Are Not Too Young. You Are Just Right.

Let’s go back to those complaints.

“My doctor said I was way too young, but that was based on… what?”

It was based on old information.

It was based on a misunderstanding of the 10-year transition.

You know your body better than anyone else.

If you are 35, 40, or 45, and you feel these changes…

Believe yourself.

Dr. Semby says we have been conditioned to stay silent.

But silence hurts us.

Silence leads to burnout.

Silence makes us quit our jobs.

So, speak up.

Share this with a friend.

Tell your partner, “I’m not crazy, I’m in transition.”

And if your doctor says, “You’re too young,” you can look them in the eye.

And you can say:

“Actually, perimenopause can start 10 years before menopause. And I need help managing my symptoms now.”

You deserve to feel good.

You deserve to sleep.

And you deserve to be listened to.

Key Takeaways

• It starts early. Perimenopause can start up to 10 years before your period stops.

• It’s a roller coaster. Hormones go way up and way down, causing mood swings and brain fog.

• Tests can lie. A single blood test might miss the problem if done on the wrong day.

• Lift weights & eat protein. These are the best natural ways to fight the symptoms.

• Don’t suffer. There are treatments like progesterone or birth control that can stop the misery.

Disclaimer

This blog post is for information only. It is not medical advice. Always talk to a healthcare professional before starting new supplements or treatments.