The Art of Professional Warfare: How to Tell Them Off Without Getting Fired
Stop letting corporate annoyance dictate your mood. The pattern I’m seeing in the workplace is that too many women swallow their frustration because they fear sounding “difficult.”
Here is what needs to happen: You must master the art of professional insult. This is about translating your rage into strategy. When you control the language, you control the room.
Below is the translation guide required to maintain your boundaries and your sanity.
1. When they won’t stop pestering you for updates
What you want to say: Stop bothering me about this.
What you will say:
“You have not heard from me because I have no new information to offer. As soon as I do, I will be sure to loop you in.”
2. When they ignore your emails
What you want to say: Why are you ignoring me?
What you will say:
“Is there someone else I should be contacting regarding this issue? If so, please let me know.”
3. When you are repeating yourself for the tenth time
What you want to say: I already told you this ten times.
What you will say:
“There seems to be a disconnect here because I provided this information previously.”
4. When they try to dump their work on you
What you want to say: Stop asking me to do your job.
What you will say:
“I am not able to offer you any additional support in completing your workload.”
5. When you are being micromanaged
What you want to say: Hovering over me isn’t going to make this go faster.
What you will say:
“Although I appreciate your attention to this matter, I am quite certain that I work more effectively independently.”
6. When you need to cut ties with a draining colleague
What you want to say: I don’t want to work with you anymore than I absolutely have to.
What you will say:
“Would you mind replacing our frequent communication with a monthly call to touch base and provide updates?”
7. When meetings are pointless
What you want to say: You are wasting my time.
What you will say:
“In being respectful of everyone’s time, I suggest we regroup when additional details are available to share.”
8. When a project is doomed to fail
What you want to say: I guarantee this project is going to be an absolute flop.
What you will say:
“I am not in agreement with this project and I have significant hesitations moving forward.”
9. When you are underpaid
What you want to say: You are underpaying me.
What you will say:
“There is a gross discrepancy in my pay versus the market rate for my position. Do we have plans to reevaluate this in the future?”
10. When lack of communication causes a crisis
What you want to say: If you had told me sooner this wouldn’t have happened.
What you will say:
“If we had communicated these issues earlier, I might have been able to find a way to mitigate them.”
11. When someone refuses to do their job
What you want to say: Do your job or I’m telling on you.
What you will say:
Simply CC their supervisor on the next email. “I have CC’d [Name] for visibility on this matter.”
12. When your inbox is exploding
What you want to say: Stop sending me 45,000 emails a day.
What you will say:
“To ensure that none of your communication is missed, please condense all emails into one per day to provide me with updates.”
The Bottom Line
Disrespect in the workplace is not something you endure. It is something you manage. Use these scripts to reclaim your time and your professional standing.
