22 Awesome Things I Learned in My First 40 Years
I’ve learned a lot in my life, especially in the last 40 years! In this post, I want to share 22 important ideas that have helped me become who I am today. I hope they help you too!
1. Do something today that your future self will thank you for.
You are the most important project you’ll ever work on. Take care of your mind, learn to be calm, and keep trying even when no one is watching. This quiet work will help you shine later. We spend a lot of time making our lives look good on the outside. But real change happens inside us. It’s about the choices we make when no one sees, the ideas we challenge, and the good habits we choose, even when it’s hard.
What you do in the dark, when no one is watching, will eventually put you in the light where everyone is watching. There’s no finish line for growing as a person. We just keep learning more about ourselves, setting better boundaries, asking better questions, and feeling more in line with who we want to be. The best part about working on yourself isn’t what you get. It’s about the amazing person you become.
Most people only get about 4,000 weeks to live. Let’s make them count!
2. How you see things can change everything.
Life isn’t so much about what happens to you. It’s more about how you choose to react to what happens. Two people can go through the same thing and respond very differently. One person grows stronger, while the other becomes unhappy. One sees pain as a teacher, and the other sees it as a punishment.
This is why how you see things is a superpower we don’t always appreciate. When you change how you see things, the things you see start to change. You stop asking, “Why is this happening to me?” and start asking, “What is this trying to teach me?” Every hard time has a lesson, and every challenge has a seed of strength. But you only find it when you stop being scared and angry, and start responding with wisdom.
3. The lonely parts of your journey are often the most important.
No one really talks about this part. We celebrate big wins and share our successes online. But we rarely talk about the in-between times. When you’ve outgrown your old life but haven’t found your new one yet, it can feel strange. You’re living between two worlds: the one you left behind and the one you’re still building.
Scientists call this “the liminal space.” It’s the time between what was and what will be. Growing can feel like being alone before it feels like making progress. I know, because I’ve had many lonely times. From being jobless, to changing from working for others to working for myself, to losing loved ones and starting a family.
Feeling alone often means you’re changing. You’re letting go of old ideas, friends, and expectations that no longer fit. Use this time to think, reset, and prepare for the new you that’s being born.
4. Being thankful is the way to have more in life.
We spend so much of our lives chasing the next big thing that we often miss the good things we already have. The truth is, someone out there is wishing for the life you’re rushing through. Your home is what a homeless person dreams of. Your health is what sick people pray for. Your freedom is what people who are oppressed long for. And until you are thankful for what you have now, more things won’t make your life better. You’ll never be truly happy with whatever you get.
Happiness isn’t about getting more things. It starts with seeing more. Noticing the beauty in everyday life, remembering how far you’ve come, and realizing what a gift it is to be alive. Being thankful for the ground you walk on today means you’ll be happy with what you have tomorrow.
5. Not all risk-takers will win, but all winners take risks.
Playing it safe might protect you from failing, but it will also stop you from finding meaning in life. Anything truly worthwhile comes with risks. The risk of being seen, of not being good enough, and of caring deeply about something with no guarantee it will work out.
But here’s a risk no one talks about: the risk of playing it safe for so long that you forget what it feels like to be alive. Happiness doesn’t come from being sure about everything. It comes from being brave. The courage to try, to take that leap. Not every risk will pay off, but every risk will teach you something. And one day, when you look back, you won’t remember what you failed at. You’ll remember if you were brave enough to try. Because the only thing riskier than going for it is never going for it at all.
6. When your dream is exciting enough, it’s easy to be productive.
Every dream is built twice. First, it’s in your mind as a quiet idea, a vision, a feeling that something more is possible. And then, if you’re brave enough, you build it in the real world through choices, effort, belief, and not giving up. The clearer you see it in your mind, the easier it becomes to make it real. Because being clear gives you direction, and direction gives your energy a purpose.
Before anything becomes real, it has to become real to you first. Not just in what you say, but in what you imagine, what you commit to, and what you’re willing to build, step by step. The most powerful thing you can do for your future is to have an exciting and strong dream that is bigger than your fears. Because once you can see it, you’re already halfway there.
7. The life you want only arrives when you commit to it.
There’s a big difference between being interested in something and being committed to it. Being interested looks like excitement on a good day. Commitment looks like sticking with it on the hard days. Interest is reading the book and watching the video. Commitment is actually doing what you learn. Interest loves distractions. Commitment loves progress. Interest waits until the new year to make changes. Commitment starts today.
The truth is, anyone can be interested. But the life you want – the health, the happiness, the purpose, and the freedom – only comes when you commit. And that commitment is what helps you through the tough middle part, where most people give up.
8. Focus your energy on what you can control.
There will always be things you can’t control: the weather, the economy, what people think, how they react, and if the timing is right. If you focus on what you can’t control, you’ll be stuck overthinking everything. Instead, focus on what you can control, and you’ll feel strong enough to take action.
Your attitude, the effort you put in, the habits you build, the boundaries you set, and how you choose to react when life doesn’t go as planned – this is where real strength lives. Not in trying to stop the storm, but in learning how to sail through it. Most of our worry comes from trying to control things we can’t. And most of our growth starts when we finally let go and focus on controlling ourselves instead.
9. The clarity you’re searching for lives on the other side of action.
We wait to feel ready, to feel excited, to feel like doing the thing. But excitement isn’t what starts the engine. Action is. Most of the time, you won’t feel like it. And that’s exactly when it matters most that you move forward. Because action creates clarity, energy, and belief.
You don’t become confident and then act bravely. You act bravely, and that’s how you build confidence. You don’t wait to feel excited and thenstart. You start, and that’s how you find your excitement. Because momentum is built by doing, not by thinking. You’ll never feel 100% ready. So start anyway and adjust along the way. Otherwise, you’ll fall into the trap of living as if you’ll never die, and then die having never truly lived. Action is the cure for worry, regret, and sadness. And once you start doing, you’ll remember something you forgot while you were stuck overthinking.
You are stronger and more capable than you think. So stop overthinking and start living with purpose. Because when you move towards what you want, what you want will move towards you.
10. The real luxuries in life must be earned and grown.
The older you get, the more you realize that life’s true luxuries aren’t things you can buy or show off. It’s having time, not just to get things done and exist, but to actually live. It’s having good physical and mental health. It’s getting enough sleep. It’s having deep conversations with close friends. It’s feeling like you belong, and having a home full of love and appreciation.
These things can’t be bought. They must be earned and grown through effort and appreciation. Some of the richest people you’ll ever meet aren’t the ones with the most money. They’re the ones who wake up excited, love without fear, and have a mind that is calm, clear, and peaceful.
11. Your thinking creates your reality.
We don’t live in the world as it is. We live in the world as we think it is. Every feeling you have is filtered through your thoughts. Limits, breakthroughs, fears, and hopes – they all start in your mind. Your thoughts are not just reactions; they are creations. And the stories you tell yourself become the way you see and experience life.
A single thought can hold back what you can do. A different thought can set it free. You can live the same day over and over, not because your situation won’t change, but because your thinking hasn’t. So if you want to change and reshape your reality, start with your thoughts. Challenge them, question them, and replace them with something better. Because you are the author of your experience. And the most powerful change doesn’t happen outside of you. It happens in your mind, where freedom and possibilities begin.
12. You’re not always tired because you need more sleep.
Sometimes you’re tired because your soul is exhausted. Tired from saying yes to everyone but yourself, and from chasing someone else’s idea of success. You can sleep eight hours and still wake up tired. Not because your body is tired, but because your mind is carrying the weight of a life that isn’t yours. We talk about burnout like it’s just about being busy, but often, it’s about being disconnected from your values, your purpose, and your joy.
Rest isn’t just about doing less. It’s about doing more of what makes you feel alive. And when you start living a life true to yourself, you’ll awaken one of the greatest sources of energy there is. This is why the longest but most important journey you will ever take is that from your head to your heart. It may not always be easy, but it will always guide you to where you need to be.
13. Life is too short and too precious to not chase the things that make you feel alive.
One day, it will all end. None of it will matter the way it does now. And when that day comes, the only thing that will matter is how deeply you lived, how bravely you loved, and how truly you were yourself. Death has a way of showing us what’s truly important. It reminds us that time isn’t just passing; it’s disappearing. That every “someday” is a risk, and that the things we keep putting off are often the very things we wish we had done sooner.
Most regrets don’t come from what we did. They come from what we didn’t do. The chances we didn’t take, the people we didn’t appreciate, the lives we didn’t fully live because we were too scared, too busy, or too focused on things that never really mattered.
14. Real happiness isn’t a result. It’s a choice.
Happiness isn’t something you find at the end of the road. It’s something you build along the way. It’s not about checking every box or reaching every goal, but living in line with what actually matters to you. We’ve been told that happiness arrives after the promotion, the relationship, and the recognition. But real happiness isn’t a result. It’s a choice.
Nothing will make you happy until you choose to be happy. And it’s found in how you talk to yourself when no one’s listening, how present you are with the people you love, and the peace you feel when your actions match your values. Happiness doesn’t come from having it all. It comes from needing less, being more thankful, and choosing what’s right for you.
15. Not everything that feels good is good for you, and not everything that feels hard is bad for you.
The deepest form of self-care isn’t bubble baths or days off. It’s building a life you don’t feel the need to escape from. But here’s what few people talk about: that kind of life is hard. And so is the one where you stay stuck, tired, and unhappy. Waking up early to work on your dreams is hard. So is waking up dreading the day ahead. Taking care of your body, your goals, and your future is hard. So is watching what you could be disappear because you were too scared to start.
Life will be hard either way. The question is: What kind of hard will you choose? Every path has its own challenges. But only one leads to the life you actually want. Keep this in mind: The life you want won’t magically appear. It will be built one decision at a time. And when you finally create a life that gives you energy instead of taking it away, that’s self-care at its highest level.
16. Embrace Pronoia.
Sometimes you get what you want, and it changes your life. Sometimes you don’t, and that changes you in a different but equally important way. Every outcome gives you something. When it works out, you gain progress, momentum, and belief in what’s possible. When it doesn’t, you gain strength, humility, and clarity on what actually matters. The wins build your confidence, and the setbacks build your character. And both are necessary.
Not getting what you want doesn’t mean you failed. It means life had a better lesson in mind. And this is the essence of the word Pronoia: the belief that the universe is secretly helping you. That life is working for you, and that something good is always going to happen.
17. It’s better to climb slowly up the right mountain than fast up the wrong mountain.
Imagine getting to the top of a mountain and realizing it wasn’t the one you wanted to climb. You spent years pushing, running, chasing goals and trying to meet deadlines. And when you finally arrive, tired and out of breath, where you thought you wanted to be, something feels wrong. It’s not joy; it’s emptiness.
You see, one of the most dangerous things you can do is to chase someone else’s idea of success and be good at it. We’re told to climb, compete, and achieve. To follow the path that looks impressive, even if it doesn’t feel right. But real success has nothing to do with what it looks like from the outside. It has everything to do with how it feels on the inside. Living a life true to yourself is success. Inner peace is success. And waking up excited about the life you get to live is success.
18. Failure is an event, not who you are.
It’s important for you to understand that failing does not make you a failure. The experience may not be fun at the time, but it’s a valuable part of growing as a person. So be kind and forgive yourself when you make mistakes. You’re only human, and you must balance these unavoidable events with being thankful for how far you’ve come to be where you are today.
Here’s how I like to see it: The universe will send you moments of beauty, chances, and pain. And one of the greatest insights you’ll have is that all of these are sources of energy. If you are humble enough to find the lessons in each one. As the saying goes, when babies take their first steps and then fall, we praise the first step. We don’t criticize their fall. I think we adults could learn from this. We spend more time criticizing our mistakes and not enough time celebrating our small steps.
Keep this in mind: Some kind of failure always happens before success.
19. You are far stronger and more capable than you realize.
You’ve gotten through more than you give yourself credit for. The nights you cried but still showed up the next morning. The days when doubt shouted louder than hope, but you kept going anyway. The times of uncertainty that asked everything of you, and you survived them all. Real strength often hides in the quietest moments. In the choice to try again, in the choice to be kind to yourself when the world isn’t, and in the courage it takes to keep believing in a future you can’t see yet.
So next time you feel like giving up, remember this: Your strength isn’t something you need to find. It’s something you’ve already shown again and again.
20. Not everyone will like you, and that’s okay.
The moment you need everyone to like you is the moment you give them control of your life. You start saying yes when you really want to say no. You make yourself smaller so others feel comfortable. And you live a life for others instead of a life true to yourself. The truth is, not everyone is supposed to understand you or approve of the path you’re walking. Growing will sometimes mean disappointing people. Peace will sometimes sound like quiet instead of explanations. And freedom will sometimes require being misunderstood.
The cost of living a life true to yourself is that some people will no longer recognize you. But the reward? You’ll start to recognize yourself. And this ability to be okay with being disliked is about finally being honest about what you value, what you need, and who you are.
21. Your health is the most valuable thing you have. Without it, nothing else matters.
The moment you give up your health is the moment your overall well-being starts to get worse. Life is hard enough as it is. Don’t make it harder by not taking care of yourself. Energy is earned, not just given. And it’s earned by sleeping more, eating better, and exercising regularly. So work with your body, not against it. If not, you’ll eventually have no choice but to spend a lot of time dealing with being sick later in life.
22. You never get to the top alone.
Behind every success story is a village of quiet helpers. The mentors who pushed you, the friends who believed in you, the books that changed your thinking, the conversations that opened new paths, and the environments that shaped your mindset without you even noticing. The truth is, you become what you take in. What you look at online, what you watch, who you follow, and who you spend time with. You take in the energy of the places you’re in, both online and in real life. So if you want to change your life, start by changing your environment. Follow people who inspire you, spend time with those who help you grow, and read things that show you what’s possible.
I hope these lessons inspire you! If they did, I’d love to hear in the comments which one resonated most with you. And don’t forget to subscribe to the channel and my weekly newsletter for more insights, ideas, and inspiration to help you live a more fulfilling and energetic life!
